


would you mind if i sat next to you and watched you smile

by ragegoddess



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-01
Updated: 2013-05-01
Packaged: 2017-12-09 23:18:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/779107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ragegoddess/pseuds/ragegoddess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"we don’t have weird sex, louis."<br/>"so just normal sex then?" </p><p>or the one in which zayn spends yet another holiday with liam, louis may be smarter than he seems, and no one is actually having any sex.</p>
            </blockquote>





	would you mind if i sat next to you and watched you smile

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this for a friend who asked for fluffy ziam domesticity. i'm not sure how close i really got but it's her birthday so i decided to buckle down and finally finish it for her. happy birthday love!! 
> 
> \- thanks a million to shrdmdnssftw for the britpick!!! this would have been even more horrible without her help.
> 
> also on [lj](http://singtherage.livejournal.com/2310.html)

it’s the end of their album tour and liam is sitting with louis in the airport, waiting for zayn to come back from the bathroom so they can catch their flight back. zayn is staying with liam for the beginning of their holiday before he goes home. he does that sometimes. it’s easier than him going to see his family and then coming for a visit. only one goodbye this way. 

"so what is it you guys do on your weekends together?" louis’ wink is almost obscene. "do you get couples massages in robes with your names embroidered on them? do you go home and cuddle on your extremely small bed until dinnertime? does zayn get dinner delivered? does he hand feed you pudding by the glow of candlelight? do you go back to bed and have lots of weird sex?"

liam hasn’t really been listening up to that point. "we don’t have weird sex, louis."

"so just normal sex then?"

"no! we don’t have any sex."

"you telling him about our weird sex, li?" zayn’s finally decided to join them from the bathroom. 

liam’s sad whimper is completely drowned out by louis’ shout of laughter and corresponding slap on zayn’s back. 

liam feels like the situation is slipping out of his control and he’s not sure when it happened but after being around louis for so long he’s mostly used to it.

"okay lou, we’ve gotta go."

liam gives louis a goodbye hug and tries again "we’re not gonna have weird sex."

louis’s winking so much as they leave that liam’s afraid his face is gonna stick like that. 

-

when they get back to liam’s flat, liam puts zayn’s things away in the guest room which is rather far from his own, thank you very much.

"you know i can do that myself," zayn says from the doorway.

"nah, it’s fine. you’re my guest."

zayn laughs. "hardly a guest anymore am i?" 

liam doesn’t really know what to say to that so he busies himself putting the finishing touches on zayn’s bed.

"don’t know why you’re bothering to make that bed mate, i’m just gonna wreck it tonight."

liam tries to laugh but it comes out as more of a hacked sob.

"you okay liam? you wanna get something to eat?"

"no, i. i think i’m just gonna go to bed. it’s been a long day. help yourself to whatever you want in the kitchen though."

"all right. g’night then."

liam rests his head on zayn’s shoulder as he passes him in the doorframe and zayn squeezes his waist. "get some rest, li."

it takes liam two hours to fall asleep, thinking of all the ways that zayn could possibly wreck his bed. 

god damn louis tomlinson.

-

liam’s body wakes him up at eight on the dot the next morning and he seriously considers rolling over and trying to get back to sleep before he hears something in the kitchen. his heart immediately starts beating out of time until his brain registers that the muffled curses he can hear through the walls are a voice he recognises. he stumbles out to the kitchen to see a shirtless and sleep rumpled zayn fumbling with a lighter at the stove. 

"what are you doing?" his voice is raspy with sleep and he clears his throat.

zayn doesn’t even look up when he answers, too focused on the task before him. "i can’t get this fucking stove to light."

"zayn you use a lighter everyday of your life and you can’t light the pilot light on my stove?"

"it’s different with these! i don’t know!"

liam hobbles over and slips the lighter out of zayn’s fingers. "i’ll do it, you go sit down."

after setting the kettle on to boil, liam excuses himself to shower. by the time he gets back, refreshed, the tea is steeping in the pot and zayn has slipped down until his chair is about a foot from the table and his face is smushed against his hands on the tabletop. 

liam grabs two mugs and sets one in front of zayn before grabbing the milk and sugar and sitting down. zayn sits up and scoots himself closer to the table, reaching for the teapot. he fills his mug almost to the top and adds milk until the mug is filled to the brim. liam’s seen him do it so many times it’s comforting, knowing that no matter what changes they’ll always take their tea the same way. zayn stands up when liam starts to dump sugar into his mug.

"can’t watch you ruin your tea like that. i’m gonna turn the telly on."

by the time liam is done "ruining" his tea, zayn has taken up residence on the couch and liam has to push his legs out of the way before sitting down. 

"hey watch yourself payne! i coulda spilled burning tea all over my chest and you’d have to rush me to hospital. that would put a damper on this holiday, wouldn’t it?"

liam’s pretty sure something about "not a holiday" comes out of his mouth but he can’t really be sure, seeing as he’s too preoccupied imagining zayn’s chest flushed angry red and thinking words like "pretty" and "ruddy" and fuck when did he start thinking about zayn like this. 

he shakes his head to clear his thoughts. 

zayn’s looking at him like he wants to say something but only comes out with, "you know we should probably leave this couch at some point today."

"yeah probably."

-

they don’t.

-

by five in the evening they’ve gotten through three hours of shitty daytime tv, the first toy story, half a disc of f.r.i.e.n.d.s., and captain america. they’ve only moved to use the bathroom or make more tea or, in zayn’s case, put on a shirt when it started to get cold. they’re both still in their pyjama bottoms and it’s easy to tell that neither want to leave to get something to eat. 

"let’s just call something in," zayn’s words are muffled by the couch fabric; at this point he’s sunk so far down into the corner of the couch that liam’s pretty sure he’s going to have to call a professional to get him pulled out. 

"well, prince malik, some of us can’t afford to get takeaway every night of our lives."

zayn pulls himself out of the corner at that.

"you’re kidding me, right?"

liam just fishes under a stack of magazines on the coffee table and pulls out the book of takeaway menus niall got him for christmas the year before. 

"got pretty much all of england at your fingertips mate, take your pick."

"that’s what i thought."

-

they get pizza. cheese pizza. liam is almost positive this is a sin. when he says so out loud, zayn just slides down the couch and lifts his feet, batting them at liam’s face like a very large boy shaped cat.

he’s almost impressed that zayn manages to keep a hold on his pizza with liam slapping at his legs. 

by the time they’ve demolished the pizza, zayn has sunk back down into the corner of the couch and liam asks sarcastically if he’s gonna have to carry him to bed.

"hmmmmmmmmm," zayn hums from his couch hole, "that’d be nice actually. thanks, li."

"wait. are you serious? i was kidding, zayn."

"yeah but i’m not. you already said it. you can’t take it back. carry me away valiant sir."

"jesus christ."

liam busies himself by throwing away the pizza box and stashing their plates in the sink. when he gets back to the living room zayn is still helplessly entombed in the folds of the couch, looking expectantly up at liam. 

"liam all your sighing is going to wake the neighbors."

liam sighs extra loud as he leans down and wraps his arms underneath zayn’s armpits, lifting him bodily from the couch. as he pulls him up, zayn’s legs wrap around liam’s waist and his arms around liam’s neck. much like a piggyback ride but on his front. a piggyfront ride. and now they’re face to face with their… dick areas very close and liam is finding it hard to catch his breath. he blames it on the fact that he hasn’t worked out in a few weeks but a little voice at the back of his head is saying different. 

zayn smiles right into his face and liam almost drops him. 

"this isn’t going to work, zayn."

"and why not?"

"because you’re too heavy and i can’t see past your giant face to see where i’m going."

zayn pushes his face into liam’s collarbone and wraps his arms tighter around his neck. says into liam’s chest, "i’m light as a fucking baby bird and you know it, payne. carry on." zayn giggles at his own joke and his breath is hot on liam’s skin. 

the walk to his guest room is probably only 20 steps or so but each time he moves, zayn’s body rocks against his and the walk feels interminable. by the time he drops zayn into his bed his knees are shaking and his hands are clenched painfully. 

zayn immediately rolls onto his side and nuzzles his nose into the pillow. "thank you prince charming you have performed me a wonderful service this eve."

"goodnight, loser."

liam can almost hear zayn flipping him off as he turns and leaves the room. 

-

the next two days go much like the first. there’s the same amount of lazing, tv watching, and eating that there was on their first free day. only this time without any more carrying disasters.

on the third day liam decides that they have to get out of the house. at least for a little while. he brings it up over their morning tea, striking while zayn is sleepy and ruffled.

"so, zayn, i was wondering if you wanted to do something today?" zayn’s face becomes more guarded and liam feels bad right away. "look, i know that you like to stay 'out of the spotlight' when we’re on breaks," liam does the quotes with his fingers and zayn smiles a little, "but what if we just go to the shops? that way we can make our own dinner tonight. the takeaway containers are starting to pile up a little bit."

zayn’s groans just about shake the whole entire table but liam hears a definite "yes" between quakes.

liam can’t bring himself to shout his excitement- it’s still much too early- so he just pats zayn on the head as he walks past to put his mug in the sink. 

"it’ll be fun, zayn, i promise."

-

they get kicked out of the shop. 

and that has never once happened to liam before. not even when he was five and rode a shopping cart into the wine aisle, knocking about 25 bottles off the shelf before his mother caught him and pulled him angrily from the aisle. the manager had felt bad for his mum and they’d only paid half price on the bottles he broke. 

the incident that occurs this time isn’t any worse. the mess is smaller and it is much more accidental in liam’s opinion. but perhaps they’ve gotten angrier employees. 

what happens is zayn decides that they should bake a cake. liam’s not really sure what goes into a cake so he looks it up on his phone and it doesn’t sound all that complicated. he reels off ingredients as they go up and down the aisles and zayn drops things into the cart. it’s nice. zayn doesn’t even get that mad when liam bangs the cart into his ankles when he stops too fast without warning. 

eventually they reach 'eggs' on the list. they make their way down the dairy aisle and liam stops to look at cheese. fucking cheese. zayn doesn’t notice and slams hard into liam’s back and the cart is pushed out of liam’s hand and rockets much faster down the aisle than liam would’ve thought possible. and what should be waiting in the middle of the aisle but a trolley stacked high with egg cartons that a stockboy must have left unattended. 

everything seems to move in slow motion as their cart full of frozen foods and heavy bags of flour and sugar slams into the trolley knocking around 45 cartons of eggs into a gooey heap onto the floor. zayn and liam just stare at the mess, unmoving, until someone comes to investigate the loud noise. 

the whole situation is very cartoonish except in the cartoons innocent people don’t get yelled at in front of crowds of other shoppers and then rudely kicked out of the shop.

they pile into liam’s car, arms full of boxes of frozen food and whatever else they could grab while they were fleeing the scene. liam can see the headlines now 'boybander liam payne kicked out of local shop for wreaking havoc.'

"i can never go back to that shop, zayn."

"hey at least you got all these free groceries."

liam can’t even argue with that. 

-

liam ends up borrowing two eggs from his neighbor and they make the cake zayn wanted. zayn’s already stuck one hand in the bowl, sucking batter off his fingers and waggling his eyebrows.

liam pulls zayn’s other hand back as it reaches for the bowl. "hey slow down there."

zayn’s mouth curves up and his lips are still wrapped around his fingers and there’s drool threatening to slide down his chin and his eyebrows are full of flour. 

liam leans forward and brushes the flour off of zayn’s face and zayn responds by wiping his spit covered finger down liam’s cheek. his big brown eyes are doing that dumb sparkling thing that they do and liam’s stupid stomach fills with stupid butterflies.

the cake ends up horrible because apparently hershey’s chocolate syrup is not an actual substitute for cocoa powder. 

zayn just coats his slice with more syrup and chokes it down with a cold glass of milk. "s’actually not that bad like this, li."

liam tries it and it really is that bad.

-

the next day they decide to clean the flat. liam pulls out his broom and dustpan set and bottles and bottles of unknown chemicals from under his sink. he’s not really sure what they all do but he’s pretty sure they’re used for cleaning. liam’s first task is the kitchen and he applies himself with gusto. he washes all the dishes and dusts above the cabinets, even remembering to shake the rag out. he’s considering starting on the fridge when he hears a crackling sound and then the low notes of the only album he has in his flat. 

"what are you doing, zayn?"

"i’m cleaning."

"no you most definitely are not cleaning." zayn is lying back on the couch, tapping his feet along with the music playing softly in the background. "okay well i am going to finish up the kitchen maybe you can fluff the couch cushions or something."

"noo, li, clean out here, stay with me."

liam groans like it’s actually a hardship for him. "i have to sweep anyway so you can collect the dust for me."

"deal."

-

liam is reaching into the corners of the room because his mum taught him how to sweep and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t do it right. after a few moments of struggling he can hear zayn singing softly from the couch, "i’ve got you under my skin, i’ve got you deep in the heart of me. so deep in my heart that you’re really a part of me."

liam looks over and catches zayn’s eye and he starts singing louder until liam joins in.

"i’ve got you under my skin, i’d tried so not to give in. i said to myself: this affair never will go so well, but why should i resist when, baby, i know down well,"

zayn fades away and liam sings alone, "i’ve got you under my skin?"

liam thinks they’re done but zayn leaps up and grabs liam’s broom, using it as a makeshift microphone, "i’d sacrifice anything come what might, for the sake of havin’ you near," he sways and grabs onto liam’s hips with his hands, moving him along at the same time. 

and it’s so ridiculous and cheesy but they’re dancing along with frank sinatra’s voice and singing together and it’s like a scene out of a movie liam can’t stop laughing. 

"use your mentality, wake up to reality. but each time that i do just the thought of you makes me stop before i begin, cause i’ve got you under my skin."

-

on their sixth day of near isolation they decide to get drunk. it’s supposed to be just another day of tea, telly, and takeaway. but this time, after the pizza delivery guy leaves, zayn disappears into the kitchen and comes back with a bottle of rum. 

"will that go with pizza?" liam is skeptical.

"no, but it’ll go with our cokes."

zayn pours liberal amounts of rum into both their coke glasses.

"i’m surprised you even had this in your house, liam."

"i didn’t. don’t. i mean it’s not mine. louis brought it over the day i moved in, with a big bow on top. said it wouldn’t do to have my own flat if i didn’t even have any alcohol to drink."

"smart man that louis."

liam thinks about the weird feelings he’s been having for zayn and doesn’t really think louis is all that smart. he’s kind of a dick if you ask liam.

"hmmm." is his only response.

-

by midnight they’ve knocked back the whole bottle and liam is pretty sure that is more than any human should drink in one night. but he’s also pretty sure he can’t remember a time when he’s had more fun. 

after they’d finished their pizza, zayn had started a game of truth or dare. but as they’d gotten more and more drunk it had just turned into them cuddling on the couch and whispering lazy truths into the air.

"who was your first kiss, zayn?"

"hmmm, that was a girl named susie in year four. she threw gum in my hair and i pulled her pigtails and we kissed by the water fountain in front of everyone."

"jesus christ zayn could you have a more cliched story?"

liam mumbles 'susie' under his breath and collapses, giggling, into zayn’s shoulder. 

"well fine then liam, what’s your story?"

there’s silence for a bit.

"okay but you can’t tell anyone."

"those are the rules of truth or dare my fine friend."

"all right. my first kiss was my cousin cheryl at my aunt’s wedding."

"what?"

"yeah. i mean i didn’t know she was my cousin and she had soft hair and big eyes and even bigger lips and i’d had too much cake."

a pause and the room is filled with zayn’s crows of laughter. "drunk off cake, were you liam?! oh fuck that’s the best story i’ve ever heard in my life."

"jesus shut up."

"so you’re a sucker for soft hair and big eyes are you, liam?" zayn bats his eyelashes much quicker than any human has any right to.

liam can barely even nod back at him. 

"okay it’s my turn now. what is your biggest fear?"

zayn’s smile kind of drifts off his face and he purses his lips. liam almost takes the question back before zayn starts to answer.

"failure, i think. i mean everything we’ve got has all happened so fast, you know? i feel like it came to us so quickly, it can go away just as quickly and i’m afraid for that day. being in one direction has brought me so many new experiences, experiences i never could have had otherwise. and it’s brought me to you guys and i just- i’m afraid if i fuck up that i’ll lose it all and i don’t know if i could handle that, liam. i don’t think i could."

zayn’s eyes are dangerously shiny and liam is drunk enough that he doesn’t stop himself from reaching up and brushing at them. zayn pushes his hand away but there’s no heat in it and he holds lightly onto liam’s wrist as he asks his question. 

"what would you do if you could do anything? anything in the world?"

in lieu of an answer, or maybe it is his answer, liam leans forward and kisses him. zayn’s mouth is dry and even with his mouth closed, liam is overwhelmed by the smell of rum. zayn’s hand tightens on his wrist and liam presses harder. his body is tight and he’s frustrated and reaching and zayn isn’t reaching back to meet him and this isn’t how it’s supposed to go at all. 

liam feels zayn’s hands press gently but firmly on his chest and okay, that is definitely not what’s supposed to be happening. 

"li. liam." zayn’s talking which means they’re not kissing which means zayn is rejecting him and liam’s really not sure he can handle that.

"i’m gonna - i’m gonna go to bed."

he pushes himself off of the couch and practically runs to his bedroom. his door slams harder behind him than he had intended and he pretends he can hear zayn shouting after him.

-

when he wakes up the next morning his head is pounding and his mouth is dry and, unfortunately, he can still remember what happened the night before. which means that zayn probably does as well. he thinks maybe he can sneak out to the living room and get some tea before zayn emerges from his den but when he steps out, zayn is already seated at the table. and it’s not like he can just turn and run back into his bedroom, although he considers it, this is his flat. so he emerges fully from his room and grabs himself a mug from the cabinet. zayn stands from the table and grabs the mug from his hand and sets it on the counter. 

liam finally looks up at him "what’re you-"

zayn cuts him off. "did you brush your teeth this morning?"

"no."

"well did you vomit?"

"no."

"okay good." zayn’s smile reaches his eyes and he reaches up to brush at liam’s eyebrow before leaning forward and kissing him. 

liam pushes him back. "zayn hold on. what is this? what about last night?"

"liam, last night i was drunk as hell. as you were, if you recall."

"yeah but-"

"no but. i didn’t want it to happen like that, li. i like you. like, i like like you," zayn raises his eyebrows. 

liam just pulls him to his chest and kisses him again. this time he can feel zayn’s answering smile against his mouth.

-

that night zayn calls his parents to tell them he’s going to be another week and liam writes "i like like you too" in sharpie in the empty spaces on zayn’s arm.

 


End file.
